YMing with The Cullens
by MaysileeAbernathy
Summary: What happens when you put the Cullens and the Yahoo! Messenger altogether? Rated K for some parts. Installments follow. : Some chapters may be Rated T and Rated M. Depends on people's requests. :
1. The Cullens

**What happens if you put a Coven of Vampires and Yahoo Messenger all together? :**D

Vampire101: Edward  
Klutz4Life: Bella  
FutureTeller: Alice  
BlondeRules: Rosalie  
SuperMan: Emmett  
AliceIsMyLife: Jasper  
MedicineFreak: Carlisle  
LoveToCook: Esme

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Vampire101: So, Bella. You doing anything tonight?

Klutz4Life: Uhh, Edward. I'm sure you already know what I'm doing ;)

Vampire101: I have a pretty good idea. :)

BlondeRules: Get a Room

Superman: You guys make me sick sometimes. Oh, and Hi Bella.

Vampire101: We should get a room? Rosalie you need to make sure your thoughts are clear next time you feel like it. Geez. I got nausea just reading your mind!

BlondeRules: Then don't read my mind.

Vampire101: It's hard not too…

LoveToCook: Now, Now. Edward and Rosalie stop fighting

AliceIsMyLife: Yes, please. I don't think I can handle your bickering anymore. It's driving me crazy, not to mention, everyone else too.

Klutz4Life: Edward you can always come over here to calm down ;)

Vampire101: Be glad too.

MedicineFreak: Sorry, Bella he can't. I hav-

Vampire101: WHAT?!?!?!?!?! WHY THE HELL NOT!?!?1

LoveToCook: Watch your language Edward.

MedicineFreak: Edward you have some things I need you to do. It will take you all but 30 minutes. So get going, or you won't be able to see Bella for awhile.

Vampire101: But, But…Fine. –Mumbles to himself and walks off-

Vampire101 has logged off.

Klutz4Life: This is so not fair, Carlisle…

BlondeRules: Life isn't fair Bella. Hasn't anyone told you that before?

Superman: Give her a break Rose. I'm sure you would've been the same way if you were a human in love with a vamp.

BlondeRules: Yeah right. Even if that vamp was you, I wouldn't be that desperate!!!

Superman and BlondeRules has logged off.

Klutz4Life: How rude!! Am I really that Desperate Esme?

FutureTeller: Yes.

Klutz4Life: Hi Alice. And how can you say that?!?! Carlisle, Esme, am I really th-

MedicineFreak: Sorry, Bella. Yes.

LoveToCook: Oh, Bella. Don't feel bad. They are all like that around each other. It's completely disgusting being in this house sometimes.

AliceIsMyLife: I wouldn't talk Esme. Carli and you get it on pretty good sometimes.

MedicineFreak: What did you just call me??

AliceIsMyLife: Uhh, nothing :)

MedicineFreak: Better be nothing…..

AliceIsMyLife: -Smiles evil like- "Ok, Carli. I'm going now.

MedicineFreak: Jasper!!!!!!!

MedicineFreak and AliceIsMyLife has logged off.

Klutz4Life: ok, I would be very scared to be in that house right now.

FutureTeller: It's not that bad. It's quite funny actually.

Klutz4Life: I can imagine how it can be funny….

FutureTeller: -goes blank- OMC Bella!!!!!!!!! I just saw the best thing in the world!!

FutureTeller: I have to go tell Edward, see you later!

Klutz4Life: Alice, wait!! What did you see?!?!

FutureTeller has logged off

Klutz4Life: I hate vampires…….

Vampire101: Me too :)

Klutz4life has logged off

********************************************************

COMMENT! nyahahha! So funny!  
"GET A ROOM!" hahaha. :))  
"I hate vampires."  
vampire101: me too :)

Nyahahahah!


	2. Nessie And Jacob

Vampire101: Edward

Klutz4life: Bella

FutureTeller: Alice

BlondesRule: Rosalie

HalfAndHalf: Renesmee

BlackMutt: Jacob

SuperMan: Emmett

BlackMutt: Hey Nessie. How are you?

HalfAndHalf: I'm great Jake. You?

BlackMutt: Feeling great whenever I talk to you :)

BlondesRule: Oh Holy crap! Stop messing with my niece, mutt.

FutureTeller: Now, now, Rosalie. Easy on Nessie. Nothing will happen, YET.

Klutz4life: What do you mean 'YET'?

Vampire101: ALICE. I would rather you keep your thoughts to yourself.

BlackMutt: He he he.

Klutz4Life: JACOB! How dare you! I already allowed you to imprint on Renesmee, and yet you do something STUPID!

HalfAndHalf: Okay, okay. Momma calm down. What is this all about?

Vampire101: Nothing sweetie. :)

BlondesRule: I swear, Mutt. If you do anything stupid, don't EVER come near me again. I'll rip your throat off just like Edward with Bella's rapists.

Klutz4Life: WHAT THE HELL?!?!??!

FutureTeller: ROSALIE! Watch your words!

BlackMutt: What? Tell me all about it!

BlondesRule: Shut up, Mutt.

Vampire101: Shut up Jacob. Stay out of it.

HalfAndHalf: Momma?! You were—

Klutz4Life: NO! No, Renesmee!

Vampire101: Renesmee, I saved your mother before she was… harmed.

BlackMutt: *sigh* Oh well. Hey Nessie. Are you ready?

HalfAndHalf: Hmm. I'm liking the sound of—

Klutz4Life: NESSIE! YOU ARE GROUNDED!

HalfAndHalf: What the damn hell did I say?! Aww, crap! You're ruining my day, Mom.

Vampire101: JACOB. Get out of this conversation before I go there and kill you. Your thoughts were disgusting as those guys at Port Angeles.

Klutz4Life: Nessie, dear. You have ALL eternity to think.

HalfAndHalf: But Jacob won't even be around for all ETERNITY, MOM!

BlondeRules: Nessie. Stop that. JACOB! If I could bite you without anyone seeing, I would do that.

FutureTeller: EDWARD, NO!

Vampire101: I have to, Alice. *panting* I can't control my anger. Rosalie! Come with me! We're going to the Reservation.

BlondeRules: Oh yeah, this is MY chance. *singing This Is My Now by Jordin Sparks*

FutureTeller: I think now is a good idea. Jacob changed his mind. He's making it worse.

BlondeRules and Vampire101 has signed off

BlackMutt: Well, that was a relief. Whew! They left.

FutureTeller: Bella! Bella! I saw something! Come here quick!

FutureTeller and Klutz4Life has signed off

HalfAndHalf: We're alone now Jakey.

BlackMutt: Who's your daddy? I AM, Nessie. I want you, right now.

HalfAndHalf: I know.

BlackMutt: Renesmee, this is your father, Edward. I am seriously grounding you for a year. NO EXCEPTIONS. For a young lady, you are truly absurd!

HalfAndHalf: Awww crap! I always get caught! Damn hell!

BlackMutt: Have to go Renesmee. I love you! *kisses tenderly on the lips, imaginarily*

HalfAndHalf: Get a life, Jacob! Because of you, I'm not going out anywhere. *slaps Jacob imaginarily*

BlackMutt has signed off.

SuperMan: Well that was interesting. And I thought your Aunt Rose and I were more intense. *wipes imaginary sweat from forehead*

HalfAndHalf: Aww crap, Unca Emmett! *crying*

SuperMan: Aww sorry Kid. I meant that as a joke.

HalfAndHalf has now signed off

SuperMan: Rose! I need you! I need you inside me! *Singing Babv Come Back*

BlondeRules: Coming home Emmett. I won't give up so easily now. :)

SuperMan and BlondeRules has now signed off

Klutz4Life: That was interesting. =))

Klutz4Life has now signed off

**Okaaay. Reviews please! Thankies! :)**

**Kinda fun making this. :))**


	3. Renee Being Suspicious

ReneeDwyer: Renee

Klutz4Life: Bella

Vampire101: Edward

HalfAndHalf: Renesmee

FutureTeller: Alice

FutureTeller: And so, Bella.. How did you do last night?

Klutz4Life: Well, I still got that blood stain. Damn it. I don't know how you do it. I mean, it's been seven years! What the damn hell am I gonna do if a human sees me?

FutureTeller: Well, I don't see anything coming out, Bella. So you should be just fine.

Vampire101: Does it make you feel better if I tell you that it took me 20 years before I got this hunting just right?

Klutz4Life: Well, if you're telling the truth. Then I will.

FutureTeller: He's lying Bella. But surely, he just wants to make you feel better.

HalfAndHalf: Oh come on! Do you think Momma's the only one who's got a problem with that? You're looking at a half-vampire-half-human here who can't even drink blood straight from the bite! I have to let the blood squirt out before I even drink it. It's like a dog drinking from the cold floor.

Vampire101: *chuckles*

Klutz4Life: Edward! Don't laugh at Renesmee!

HalfAndHalf: Aunt Alice! *crying and touches Alice's cheek*

FutureTeller: Oh, now you've ruined it Edward.

Vampire101: Could you just tell me and keep your thoughts a secret? It's giving me a damn migraine!

Klutz4Life: Hmm. Edward! DAMN IT! You were supposed to be comforting Renesmee! Not discouraging and bullying her!

Vampire101weetheart, it wasn't that.

HalfAndHalf: Whatever Dad. *cries*

FutureTeller: As far as I'm concerned, I'm on Bella's side.

Klutz4Life: So. Back to hunting. You really should be trying very hard, Renesmee. It's very hard, I know. We both feel the same. But I know you can do it. Animal blood tastes good anyway.

Vampire101: And Tanya gave me dinosaur blood. VERY satisfying.

Klutz4Life: ……

Vampire101: It really IS satisfying. BLOOD of all kinds. But you're blood tastes the sweetest.

ReneeDwyer: What? Hunting?! What is that all about? You drink BLOOD?! OH HELL!

FutureTeller: Sorry, Bella, Edward and Renesmee. Didn't see that one coming.

ReneeDwyer: Alice can see the future?? What the damn hell is this all about???

Klutz4Life: Oh SHIT! Now we've done it! OH HELL!

Vampire101: Hi Renee. :) *goes blank* Okay, Alice.

FutureTeller: Good, Edward. GO!

HalfAndHalf: Hi grandma! *gives Renee a hug* You're so warm and… delicious..

ReneeDwyer: WHAT?!

FutureTeller: Hi Renee! Renesmee meant that you smelled. . uhm . .

Klutz4Life: Sweet.

ReneeDwyer: Thanks. So what about the blood? Do you drink? What is this all about!

Klutz4Life: OH DAMN HELL! SHIT! What do we do?!

HalfAndHalf: Grandma, don't worry about Momma, she's just drunk, that's all.

Klutz4Life: THE HELL I'M NOT!

FutureTeller: *slaps Bella* Shut up Bella. You ARE drunk remember?

Vampire101: Yes, she is. . drunk. I guess that's how you could call it. She kept on screaming that she was a vampire. Silly, isn't it?

ReneeDwyer: Really? Oh poor Bella.

Klutz4Life: *opens mouth to say something*

HalfAndHalf and FutureTeller: *shuts Bella's mouth with their hands*

Klutz4Life: MM—HMM MM-HMM! Imm nnmmmm drunkmmm!!

Vampire101: Renee, could I ask a favor from you?

ReneeDwyer: Sure, Edward. I'm all ears.

Vampire101: Could you please leave us for a moment?

FutureTeller: We'd just like Bella to return to her normal self. You know, until she could speak appropriately.

Klutz4Life: I AM NOT DRUNK! WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO WITH MOM! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHE KNOWS! And you're simply gonna let her get away with it. Pathetic.

HalfAndHalf: You see, grandma? She's not stable. :) So I need you to go. Please. Thanks Grandma.

ReneeDwyer: Okay. I love you Bella, Edward, and Nessie.

FutureTeller: *clears throat*

ReneeDwyer: Oh, and you too Alice. Take care.

ReneeDwyer has signed off

Klutz4Life: *sounding sarcastic* Well, shit! That went quite well.

Vampire101: Be.. oh damn I forgot.

FutureTeller: *high pitched voice* I know! I know! Bella, Edward was going to tell you that you should relax.

Vampire101: Thank you, Alice.

HalfAndHalf: Mom, calm down. Renee is already.. aware. Uhm, wait. That was Charlie.

FutureTeller: *clears throat* Bella. Edward made a plan, to make you calm down. I'll grab Renesmee and we'll go shopping. I'll drag Carlisle and Esme to Las Vegas. Emmett and Rosalie to Germany to visit Vladmir and all that crap. Then Jasper can come with us.

Klutz4Life: Oh. I like that, Edward. :)

Vampire101: Let's go. :) *drags Bella to the room*

Vampire101 and Klutz4Life has signed off

FutureTeller: Come one Nessie! More shopping! :)

HalfAndHalf: I've been waiting for that! CRAP! Let's go!

FutureTeller and HalfAndHalf has signed off


	4. Bella, Edward and Alice

IMissEdward: Tanya

Klutz4Life: Bella

Vampire101: Edward

HalfAndHalf: Renesmee

FutureTeller: Alice

IMissEdward: ….and so, Edward. That was how I felt when the Volturi killed Irina.

Vampire101: I am deeply sorry, Irina. :)

Klutz4Life: Oh shut up. This is so sick, Edward.

HalfAndHalf: MOM! Be the crap good to Aunty Tanya!

Klutz4Life: WHAT?! It's not like I WAS the one who was getting nearer and nearer to your father a century ago, Nessie.

Vampire101: Bella, I thought we have talked about this.

IMissEdward: Oh Edward, don't mind her. Ahhhhh, Edward.

Klutz4Life: AH! SHUT THE HELL UP TANYA!

HalfAndHalf: Get a life, Mom.

Vampire101: Bella! CRAP! I love you! Isn't that enough?! I granted you your immortality just to be with me, and then you still don't trust me?

Klutz4Life: NO! THAT IS NOT ENOUGH! Not when I see you gallivanting with that… that… STRAWBERRY BLONDE FREAK!

IMissEdward: Ouch. Dammit.

Vampire101: If that's what you think, then I'll certainly prove you wrong.

FutureTeller: Bella! Oh damn! I've got to tell you what he's gonna do!

Vampire101: Uh. No, you won't. :))

FutureTeller: Awww, dammit. My vision is giving me a headache. Damn. Bella! I'll go there!

FutureTeller has now signed off

IMissEdward: Ackh. I hate vampires. Why the HELL did I even bother to be one? Crap.

IMissEdward has now signed off.

HalfAndHalf: Momma, can I come there? I'm done with school work and I was hoping that I could hunt with you. :)

Klutz4Life: Well, sure Ho—

Vampire101: Oh no, you don't. You're coming with me, Bella.

HalfAndHalf: Momma?

Klutz4Life: I'm so sorry Renesmee. But I guess you're cheating dad wants something from me.

HalfAndHalf: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! This is the only chance that I get to spend time with you and then you bail on me for a PLAYER?! GET A ROOM!

Vampire101: Indeed we will, Renesmee.

Klutz4Life: Hi Edward, Nessie. Alice here. I just told Bella what you were planning Edward. And Renesmee, dear, you are gonna tag along with ME. SHOPPING!

HalfAndHalf: Aww damn crap. Not again!

Klutz4Life: There are gonna be boys. HOT VAMPIRE BOYS.

HalfAndHalf: LET'S GO! *chuckles happily*

Vampire101: mm-hmm. Alice, good plan. I'd take that rather than Jacob. Well done, should I be commending you for that?

Klutz4Life: *rolls eyes* Yes Edward. *sarcastic tone*

Vampire101: Then I shall grant you with a Porsche. A new one. We'll give Charlie the old one. Just put red and blue lights on top. 'Kay?

Klutz4Life: Sure sure. Bye Edward. Nessie, I'll meet you by Charlie's.

HalfAndHalf has signed off

Vampire101: Bella? Love? Let's go now.

Klutz4Life: Yeah, Edward. What do you want me to wear for today?

Vampire101: My wife.

Klutz4Life: Oh, so that means I shouldn't wear anything?

Vampire101: EXACTLY. Not even an underwear.

**OKAY guys. So please review. It helps me think of new chapters to write. Please do comment with suggestions. :) **

**THANKS a LOT! **


	5. Getting All Hooked Up

AN: So here, I won't be writing any more YM ID. You probably know them by heart, now. Here's the only thing I'm adding.

BaseballJock: Phil

Characters: Bella, Edward, Renee

Vampire101: So Renee, how have you been?

ReneeDwyer I've been very good lately, Edward. Thank you for noticing.

BaseballJock: I love you Renee.

ReneeDwyer: Aww, baby. I love you too.

Klutz4Life: Get a room.

Vampire101: Bella.

Klutz4Life: What?

BaseballJock: Oh, Bella and Edward! Have you seen Renee on American Idol the other day? Day 1 in Jacksonville, Florida? She was awesome.

Vampire101: That was great, Renee.

ReneeDwyer: Thank you, Edward. Bella, bella? Are you okay?

Klutz4Life: *standing here speechless*

ReneeDwyer: Honey?

Vampire101: oh don't worry about her, she's okay. Well then, I'll see you very soon Renee, Phil. Goodbye.

BaseballJock: Goodbye, Edward. Good day.

ReneeDwyer and BaseballJock has now signed off.

Vampire101: What the DAMN hell was that for, Bella?!

Klutz4Life: WHAT?

Vampire101: Why aren't you congratulating your mother?

Klutz4Life: Well, should I? I mean, she IS the worst singer I've ever heard. No doubt about it.

Vampire101: How could you say that? Phil was practically happy about seeing her on American Idol.

Klutz4Life: Phil's just kissing up.

Vampire101: BELLA! *pauses for a moment* I am the worst person to be with you and yet I love you. and you love me too. So does that mean that you're love for me is simply for 'kissing up'?

Klutz4Life: Edward, this is different. We are both immortal, and they are human. We are supposed to be perfect. Them? Not so much.

Vampire101: Well, it doesn't seem different.

Klutz4Life: Why am I even talking to YOU?

Vampire101: Because, I am your husband.

Klutz4Life: …..

Vampire101: Bella? I love you. Bella, I love you. Isabella Marie Cullen, I love you.

Klutz4Life: Say all the names in the world and it still does not prove anything, for me.

Vampire101: I shall let you go by yourself for a while. Goodbye.

Klutz4Life has now signed off

Vampire101: *sigh* Whilst, I am in love with Isabella Marie Cullen.

Vampire101 has now signed off.

**AN: Well, that was… unexpected. Bella leaving mad for the first time at Edward. Reviews. PLEASE? I need opinions for the love of all that's Holy! Begging you to the floor, here. WHAT? What did I just say? HAHA. :) **


	6. The Human Hunt

**BlackMutt**: Jacob

**Klutz4Life: ** Bella

**Vampire101**: Edward

**HalfAndHalf: **Renesmee

--

Vampire101: Bella, sweetie, how're your eyes?

Klutz4Life: They're alright. Thanks. *smiles*

HalfAndHalf has signed in

BlackMutt has signed in

BlackMutt: Hey, Bells. How're things goin'?

HalfAndHalf: Daddy!

Vampire101: *chuckles* What is it, Nessie?

Klutz4Life: Things are alright, Jacob. What'd you and Nessie do all day?

HalfAndHalf: I'll tell you later, Dad. *smiles*

BlackMutt: Ah, you'll find this really funny.

HalfAndHalf: JAKE!

BlackMutt: Shhh! *covers Nessie's mouth* Nessie hunted a HUMAN. *laughs boisterously*

Vampire101: WHAT?!

Klutz4Life: Jacob, how could you let her do that!?

BlackMutt: I can't do anything about it. When I did, Nessie actually _growled _at me. Ha ha.

HalfAndHalf: Jake, I already feel bad. Okay? *smiles*

Vampire101: What's so funny, Renesmee?

HalfandHalf: It tasted REALLY good.

Klutz4Life: OH. I get the point. Well, you really couldn't control yourself. You're really not one of the in-control half vampires I've ever known. So that's okay, dear. But next time, please be cautious. *hugs Renesmee*

BlackMutt: Nice to see Bella on our side, bloodsu—

HalfAndHalf: Jake. We talked about this. If ever you call my Dad bloodsucker, you're referring to me and my Mom.

BlackMutt: Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Vampire101: This is very pathetic. Bella, can't you see that it isn't right? Jacob, I will.. will..

BlackMutt: What are you gonna do? SPARKLE ME TO DEATH? That's just pretty, Edward. *laughs*

Klutz4Life: *laughs really loud*

HalfAndHalf: *chuckles* Sparkles. That's cute, Jake. ROFL.

Vampire101: It's a possibility, wolf. I'm giving you a minute to run away.

BlackMutt: So now we're playing hide and seek? Glorious! C'mon, Nessie. This'll be really fun. Hahaha!

BlackMutt and HalfAndHalf has signed off

Klutz4Life: Edward, forgive Renesmee. Please?

Vampire101: I wouldn't. I couldn't see the light, really.

Klutz4Life: Remember that you've also killed humans. And that sometimes, giving in to your instincts wouldn't help to stop thinking about who you're attacking.

Vampire101: *panting with anger* I just didn't want this to happen to her. It's criminal. We'll talk later, love. *evil smile* I'm going to hunt down Jacob.

Klutz4Life: Okay, love. I'll be waiting in the cottage! *kisses Edward tenderly* Don't hurt Jacob. Just hunt.

Vampire101 has now signed off.

Klutz4Life: *sighs* Handling a husband and a son-in-law is giving me a vampire headache.

**AN: OKAY. I've been hit by inspiration. Review please :D And give me some ideas that could give birth to more chapters! **


	7. Period

**AN: Well, here's another story. I'm thinking about transforming this into a story and not just a YM-ing scheme. Just for it to be more legal. **

**Klutz4Life: **Bella

**Vampire101: **Edward

**Superman:** Emmett

**AliceIsMyLife: **Jasper

**FutureTeller: **Alice

--

STATUS ON YM:

Edward Cullen "I'm really bored…"

**Conference: **

SuperMan: Yo, bro. Where's Bella?

AliceIsMyLife: Yeah, where's Bella?

Vampire101: She's at home.

Klutz4Life: I'm stuck here like hell for the next 5 days.

FutureTeller: I'll take you shopping if you want, Bella! *giggles*

Klutz4Life: No! Pleeeeaaaseeeeee nooooo! Edward!

SuperMan: Then why are you bored, Edward?

AliceIsMyLife: You can, like, go to her house, right?

Vampire101: She's got her period, okay!? *wipes imaginary sweat from forehead*

FutureTeller: Oooo, you know what Bella? Never mind. I'll pass…

SuperMan: That's just unlucky, man.

Vampire101: Alice, a little warning would've been nice. *sighs*

Klutz4Life: Can you please not tell everybody that I have my period? Thanks, Edward. *annoyed*

Vampire101: But it's still true, love. And my brothers are asking why I'm so bored. And here I am. Bored like hell because you have your period!

Klutz4Life: Well, I'm sorry if I am so human! I'm sorry if I have my period! This is just pathetic, Edward. We have sex everyday and I don't even tell anyone about it but here you are, telling them that I have my period when you're freaking bored!

AliceIsMyLife: Woooh, that's tight.

SuperMan: Man, Edward. That's like, everyday.

Vampire101: It's still your fault, though, Bella. *sighs*

FutureTeller: Edward, stop that. You'll make her.. angry.

Klutz4Life: I'm already angry. Thanks for the notification, Alice. *really annoyed and faces Edward* And how is this my fault?

Vampire101: You won't allow us to do it even if you have your period.

Klutz4Life: Are you stupid? I can't even tell anyone that I have my period, Edward. I'm ashamed. But here you are telling them. At least, _I _don't tell anyone that you sparkle like a little fairy, Edward! I don't run around telling anyone that you're like a little bitch who sparkles in the sunlight. It's because that's just GAY, Edward!

FutureTeller: C'mon, Bella. I'll take you shopping. To calm you down. *worried*

Klutz4Life: Great idea, Alice. At least, _you _know how to hide yourself from the sun.

Klutz4Life and FutureTeller has now signed off.

SuperMan: Now I don't even have the guts to show off anymore. Hmm. But that just you, Edward. Sparkly little vampire. Hahaha!

AliceIsMyLife: Eff your life, Edward.

SuperMan and AliceIsMyLife has now signed off.

Vampire101: *singing I'm A Barbie Girl*

**AN: That's reaaaally bad of Bella, eh? Haha. This chapter was inspired by a picture that I've seen on Facebook. I think some of you would have seen that picture already. SORRY TEAM EDWARD! If I hurt Edward. It already hurt my ego to write this. Haha :) REVIEW please :) And tell me what more you'd like to see. :D**


	8. New Companion

**BlackMutt: **Jacob

**HalfAndHalf: **Renesmee

**BlondesRule: **Rosalie

**Vampire101: **Edward

**Klutz4Life: **Bella

HalfAndHalf: Hey Jake! What have you been up to? I haven't seen you in days! *smiles*

BlackMutt: Well, there's a pretty good reason, really.

Vampire101: Ha! *laughs* I can't wait to hear this one.

BlondesRule: You've got to be kidding, Edward. *rolls eyes* You've already heard it in the mutt's head.

Vampire101: It's just hilarious. You'll see why.

**Klutz4Life has signed in**

Klutz4Life: Did I miss anything? *panting*

HalfAndHalf: No. You didn't miss anything, Mom. Jake's about to tell me why I haven't seen him in days.

BlackMutt: Yeah, so as I was saying. . .

Vampire101: *listening carefully, trying not to laugh*

BlondesRule: *all ears*

Klutz4Life: *sigh*

BlackMutt: Stop it with the asterisks, will ya? I don't need to know what your expressions are. *chuckles*

HalfAndHalf: You're doing it too. So _what? What have you been up to? _

BlackMutt: I bought a dog! *smiles reaching ears*

Klutz4Life: That's it? *annoyingly smiling*

Vampire101: Ha! Ha ha ha! That's really good, Jacob.

BlondesRule: It's about time you bought a brother.

BlackMutt: It's a girl. It's a bitch. Just like _you, _Rosalie! *laughing on the floor*

HalfAndHalf: A dog? That's great, Jake!

Klutz4Life: Good joke, Jacob. *laughs*

BlondesRule: Oh ha ha, Mutt.

BlackMutt: Good to know you appreciate it. You wanted me to stop with the blonde jokes. Well, there you go. You're welcome.

BlondesRule: I'm not thankful, dog.

Vampire101: Well, now that you've got a female companion . . . would you forget Renesmee? *snickers*

HalfAndHalf: Daddy! *slaps him imaginarily*

BlondesRule: Yeah, mongrel. It's about time you found someone to love from your own kind.

BlackMutt: Hey, blondie! How do you make a nice blonde turn into a naughty one?

BlondesRule: I don't want to know.

Klutz4Life: I wanna know. *still laughing* I can't stop, really.

Vampire101: This is gonna be good.

BlackMutt: Tie her to a female dog. *laughs* Get it? Female dog – bitch?

BlondesRule: Yeah, I get it. Get new jokes, mongrel.

HalfAndHalf: *laughing* Good one, Jake. Aunt Rosalie? Come on. Have a little fun.

BlondesRule: I'm tired of all these blonde jokes. It's time I do something better than conferencing with someone ignorant.

BlackMutt: Wow. *clapping* Look who's talking.

BlondesRule: You disgust me.

BlondesRule has now signed out

Vampire101: Well, Jacob. I'm giving you a thumbs up on that one with Rosalie.

Klutz4Life: She didn't deserve it though.

BlackMutt: You kept laughing, Bella. What's the problem?

HalfAndHalf: It's Rosalie's birthday today, Jake.

BlackMutt: Oh. OH. Tell blondie that that was my birthday joke. I would've placed a bunch of ribbons on her head if I were there. Happy birthday, Blondie! *snickers*

Vampire101 and Klutz4Life has now signed off

BlackMutt: Well, rude.

HalfAndHalf: Don't worry. Aunt Rose made them sign out. Cold shoulder. *oof* Look Mutt, thanks for the greeting.

BlackMutt: My pleasure. Hey Rosalie, what's the best gift for a blonde?

HalfAndHalf: …

BlackMutt: A mirror and puddle of mud.

BlackMutt and HalfAndHalf has now signed off.

**AN: Okay, I'm not really sure if any of what I said just made sense. Haha, I don't have any Twi-juices that could inspire this. Refer to Stuck instead? Thanks. REVIEW PLEASE! It means a lot to me. As in, a lot. **


	9. Damages

**BlondesRule: **Rosalie

**SuperMan: **Emmett

**LovesToCook: **Esme

**Vampire101: **Edward

Vampire101: So, how's the second honeymoon?

SuperMan: It was great, actually. Better than the first one.

BlondesRule: I have to say the same.

SuperMan: Esme, thanks for letting us borrow Isle Esme. *smiles*

LovesToCook: You're welcome. I'm not happy with what happened though. :|

BlondesRule: Uh-oh, Emmett.

Vampire101: Why, what happened?

LovesToCook: Don't worry, Rose and Emmett. I don't know what happened there. I'm just wondering why the bill I received is high.

SuperMan: Bill? What bill?

LovesToCook: The Portuguese helpers sent me the bill of the list of things they bought for replacement of a lot of furniture in the house. It would have been alright for me but the bill is really just high.

Vampire101: *laughs*

BlondesRule: Shut up, Edward. *snickers*

SuperMan: How high? :(

LovesToCook: Emmett McCarty Cullen and Rosalie Hale Cullen, you owe me $10,000.

Vampire101: =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

SuperMan: Oh man. Rose, we'll have to split up the payment.

LovesToCook: Jesus, you two!

Vampire101: Jeez! *laughing real hard* What did you do? Have sex all day? What the hell? ROFL.

LovesToCook: You've broke down so many houses before. When I let you borrow the house, it didn't mean that you should break the furniture too.

Vampire101: Rosalie, why don't you tell us everything that you broke so we can canvass what we need for the interior decorations? *snickering*

BlondesRule: Well, *ashamed* the bed frame, wood frame, dining table, the sofa in the entertainment room…

SuperMan: The CD holders, the blue room, the steps on the stairs. Maybe bathroom tiles too. Oh, shower head. That was epic.

BlondesRule: Emmett, I know how much you loved that moment but now's really not the right time to mention it. Maybe later you could do that again. *flirt smile*

Vampire101: Crap! And I thought that Bella and I were worse! =))))))) *laughing hysterically*

SuperMan: We almost broke the house. *scratching head*

BlondesRule: Emmett!

SuperMan: Oops. *turning red imaginarily*

LovesToCook: Alright, that's it! I'm kicking the two of you out. AGAIN! Not only are you paying for the damages, you are also kicked out. You are PAYING for your own house, apartment or whatever home that you live in and break.

SuperMan: Oh man! What're we going to do, Rose?

BlondesRule: *glares at Emmett*

SuperMan: What?

BlondesRule: We'll talk later.

SuperMan: In the shower? Sure.

Vampire101: You two are DISGUSTING.

Vampire101 and LovesTooCook has now signed off.

BlondesRule: You still owe me a lot of sessions, Emmett.

BlondesRule has now signed off.

SuperMan: No matter how much damage we cost, I'll keep in mind our mastery. *laughing really hard*

SuperMan has now signed off.

**AN: Okay. Green joke? I don't have any more in mind, I swear, so I whipped this up. Haha. Did you like it? Review please! :D It means a lot, you know. **

"**I'm sure it'll warm the cockles of her heart." –Jacob referring to my happiness about reviews. Haha. BREAKING DAWN QUOTE! :D **


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